I mentioned a while back how much I love the new U2 record. One particular song, "White as Snow" is particularly resonant lately, especially in light of something that my pastor said a few weeks ago. Bono, in all his good-deed-doing, claims to not be into organized religion, but somehow, he always ends up to be a theologian in his lyric writing. Or maybe I'm just reading my faith into it, like I did with Radiohead's "Let Down" in a previous entry.
As boys we would go hunting in the woods
To sleep the night shooting out the stars.
Now the wolves are every passing stranger,
Every face we cannot know.
If only a heart could be as white as snow.
If only a heart could be as white as snow.
"Now the wolves are every passing stranger/ Every face we cannot know"-- the level of distrust and suspicion that we bring into our interpersonal communication results in a series of tactics of self-preservation with as little human interaction as possible. We ruin relationships before we even get a change to have them by seeking to avoid potential "wolves".
For example, as I was driving home this weekend for my dress fitting, I was in the left hand lane passing another car at about 7 miles over the speed limit. Another car rushed up behind me and came up very close to my bumper. Because I was unable to get over at the time, I just continue driving. When I looked again in my rear view mirror, it appeared that he was about to hit me. I slammed on my brakes (briefly, though) and honked my horn. I got over to the right hand lane as soon as I could. As he flew past me at 90 mph, HE flipped ME off! I was so mad that my reflexes, unfortunately, were not quick enough to return the gesture in time for him to see.
As I watched him speed ahead and exit a mile or so later, I thought, "That guy will always be the a-hole who flipped me off." To him, I will be "that slow female driver who almost made me hit her". I will never get to know that man, but in our brief encounter, we both chose to be hostile toward each other (me, toward his tailgating, and he, toward my "get-off-my-butt" driving tactics). Once I realized that I let my anger get in the way of showing the man some patience and undeserved courtesy, I was sad for the two of us. Now we both have lost another piece of faith in the human race. Lesson learned: while it's true--"Every face we cannot know", I need to show love, not hostility, to every "passing stranger".
With that said, here is the quotation from my church's bulletin on the 26th that REALLY got me thinking about such brief encounters. It's long, but it's worth it:
"It is easy to produce examples of the many ways in which Americans attempt to minimize, circumvent, or deny the interdependence upon which all human societies are based. We seek a private house, a private garden, a private laundry, self-service stores, and do-it yourself skills of every kind. An enormous technology seems to have set itself the task of making it nnecessary for one human being ever to ask anything of another in the course of going about his daily business. …We seek more and more privacy and feel more and more alienated and lonely when we get it. Our encounters with others tend increasingly to be competitive as a result of the search for privacy. We less and less often meet our fellow man to share and exchange, and more and more often encounter him as an impediment or a nuisance; making a highway crowded when we are rushing somewhere, cluttering or littering the beach or park or wood, pushing in front of us at the supermarket, taking the last parking place, polluting our air and water and so on. Because we have cut off so much communication with each other we keep bumping into each other, and thus a higher and higher percentage of our interpersonal contacts are abrasive."
-from Pursuit of Loneliness
Philip Slater
As boys we would go hunting in the woods
To sleep the night shooting out the stars.
Now the wolves are every passing stranger,
Every face we cannot know.
If only a heart could be as white as snow.
If only a heart could be as white as snow.
"Now the wolves are every passing stranger/ Every face we cannot know"-- the level of distrust and suspicion that we bring into our interpersonal communication results in a series of tactics of self-preservation with as little human interaction as possible. We ruin relationships before we even get a change to have them by seeking to avoid potential "wolves".
For example, as I was driving home this weekend for my dress fitting, I was in the left hand lane passing another car at about 7 miles over the speed limit. Another car rushed up behind me and came up very close to my bumper. Because I was unable to get over at the time, I just continue driving. When I looked again in my rear view mirror, it appeared that he was about to hit me. I slammed on my brakes (briefly, though) and honked my horn. I got over to the right hand lane as soon as I could. As he flew past me at 90 mph, HE flipped ME off! I was so mad that my reflexes, unfortunately, were not quick enough to return the gesture in time for him to see.
As I watched him speed ahead and exit a mile or so later, I thought, "That guy will always be the a-hole who flipped me off." To him, I will be "that slow female driver who almost made me hit her". I will never get to know that man, but in our brief encounter, we both chose to be hostile toward each other (me, toward his tailgating, and he, toward my "get-off-my-butt" driving tactics). Once I realized that I let my anger get in the way of showing the man some patience and undeserved courtesy, I was sad for the two of us. Now we both have lost another piece of faith in the human race. Lesson learned: while it's true--"Every face we cannot know", I need to show love, not hostility, to every "passing stranger".
With that said, here is the quotation from my church's bulletin on the 26th that REALLY got me thinking about such brief encounters. It's long, but it's worth it:
"It is easy to produce examples of the many ways in which Americans attempt to minimize, circumvent, or deny the interdependence upon which all human societies are based. We seek a private house, a private garden, a private laundry, self-service stores, and do-it yourself skills of every kind. An enormous technology seems to have set itself the task of making it nnecessary for one human being ever to ask anything of another in the course of going about his daily business. …We seek more and more privacy and feel more and more alienated and lonely when we get it. Our encounters with others tend increasingly to be competitive as a result of the search for privacy. We less and less often meet our fellow man to share and exchange, and more and more often encounter him as an impediment or a nuisance; making a highway crowded when we are rushing somewhere, cluttering or littering the beach or park or wood, pushing in front of us at the supermarket, taking the last parking place, polluting our air and water and so on. Because we have cut off so much communication with each other we keep bumping into each other, and thus a higher and higher percentage of our interpersonal contacts are abrasive."
-from Pursuit of Loneliness
Philip Slater
Hi - I know you don't know me but I found your blog through Claire's. (Her parents and mine are really good friends). I just wanted to drop you a note to say I really loved the quote you put up and I stole it and put it on my blog (with a link back to you of course). Thanks for posting it. It hits a little too close to home for me and many people I know.